SELF-ENQUIRY
A spiritual practice of turning inward and seeking answers within, observing thoughts, feelings, and body sensations to dissolve what no longer serves and move toward clarity.
Self-enquiry has been profoundly transformative in my life, and even more so in helping me navigate death and grief.
It’s a series of questions that we ask ourselves, and you will notice how slowly the answersstart to shift. The deeper we go, the more clarity we receive.
It’s a series of questions we ask ourselves.
Find a quiet space, or go for a walk in nature, and gently move through the process.
What am I feeling?
(acknowledge and name the feeling - accepting it as it is)
1. "I feel sad"
2. "I feel angry"
3. "I feel scared"
Why am I feeling this way?
(feelings emerge in response to a met or unmet need.)
1. "I feel sad because I lost my daughter and I miss her physical presence."
2. “I feel angry because my little sister died and it is unfair."
3. “I feel scared to leave the toxic relationship I am stuck in.”
Self-inquiry: 1. "Is it true that I have truly lost her and all connection with her?"
Answer: 1. "No, I have only lost her physical form, and I am deeply grieving."
Self-inquiry: 2. "What is it that is unfair?"
Answer: 2. "She was very young to die."
Self-inquiry: 2. "Was she the first one who died young?
Answer: 2. "No, many have died young."
Self-inquiry: 3. "Is it true that you are stuck and you have no choice?"
Answer: 3. "No, but it's hard."
What is my need?
(dig deeper to tap into the unmet need or desire)
1. "I am longing for my daughter’s physical presence. I want to hug her, talk with her."
(Needs here are Connection, Presence, Touch, Closeness, Mourning and Honoring)
2. "I am wanting more time with her; I want to travel with her and watch her grow.”"
(Needs here are Connection, Shared experiences, Continuity, Closeness, Mourning and Honoring)
3. "I want to feel free and safe, have a nurturing relationship and peaceful life"
(Needs here are Freedom, companionship, Peace, Safety and Autonomy)
Where does this feeling lead me?
(feelings guide our energy towards a certain direction)
1. "This sadness is taking me towards depression, deep longing and hopelessness."
2. "This anger is taking me towards bitterness, blame and resistance"
3. "The fear is taking me towards anxiety, stuckness, helplessness and hopelessness."
1. "I want my sadness and grief to lead me to acceptance, surrender and light."
2. "I want my anger to lead me to acceptance, honouring her life and keeping my heart open."
3. "I want my fear to lead me to courage, confidence, being centered and empowerment."
Where do I wish this feeling to take me?
(let faith guide your energy in the direction you wish to go. It might feel challenging but it's possible)
Self-Enquiry can be practiced with any feelings or stories that arise, such as anxiety, anger, fear, or a sense of failure and many more.....
Through this process, we listen to our feelings, meet our needs with awareness, and gently guide ourselves in a more conscious direction.
